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I am a high school soccer player and have been playing for 2 years. I love my team and my teammates and we have so much fun playing that winning seems second in importance. Now that I'm on varsity and our team is getting better, we have to compete with each other for playing time. I'm having trouble competing against my friends and sometimes would rather not play than try to beat them. Any advice?
Caitlin T., PGH, PA
Dear Caitlin,
That can be really tough, having to compete within a team for playing time. It's especially difficult when you like the girls you're competing with! Communication can play a big role in the success of inter-team issues and if you are really having trouble, try talking to your coach for some support and help.
I have a couple of pieces of "advice." One is to consider your personal goals on the team. If your goal is to play college soccer or try for a scholarship, then you will need to be as competitive as you can be to play at your best. If your teammates know you are on that level, they will understand your work ethic and attempts to play as much as possible. It might even help them to elevate their own level of play by inspiring them! If your goal is to have fun and enjoy playing with your team, then your efforts will be guided by that. Don't ever play down your ability to avoid beating a teammate because they always know when you do that and it's even more upsetting than being beat outright.
Probably the most important part will be "where you're coming from." What I mean by that is you know when someone tells you something but the words don't match the body language (and eventually don't match the actions)? Well, that's not coming from an honest place. If you "beat" out a teammate because you want to play your best and it happens to be better that day, she—or you--should be able to handle that.
Remember to have fun,
Dr. Jenny Susser
I had surgery on my knee last year from an injury I got playing basketball. My doctor says I'm fine and can go back to playing, but every time I step on the court, I freeze with fear. All I see in my head is falling and hurting my knee. I want to play again but am afraid I never will. Help!
Sarah F., Los Angeles
Dear Sarah,
Believe it or not, everyone who has ever come back from an injury has experienced that initial moment of fear when it's time to return—even professional athletes! This month's "Confidence Corner Tip" is about Mental Imagery and that's what I think can help you. You said something very important which is that you see yourself getting injured mentally when you try to play again. You are, in essence, practicing that negative image, which prevents your brain from thinking or feeling anything else!
Do you have a great memory of playing basketball from before your injury? Take that memory and turn it into a "spurt" image to practice (see the tip to understand spurt). Make sure to feel confident during your image. This is where most people get stuck. You might have to muster some confidence from a previous image or memory and just practice it until it's actually there. You might feel like you're fibbing to yourself at first, but that's okay. Keep practicing until that pathway gets created!
Remember to have fun,
Dr. Jenny Susser
I need help with my racing! I love to train and practice and I could be out on the slopes all day working on my conditioning or technique, but, when it comes to racing, I just freak out! I get really, really nervous and then can't focus. What can I do?
Ashley, M., Colorado
Dear Ashley,
You're right! Freaking out is not a good strategy for racing. Intensity, however, can be really useful when you compete. Imagine being bored or tired and yawning before a race—you probably wouldn't go any faster than you do in "freak out" mode. So, the goal is to find that middle ground. Believe it or not, everyone has an optimal level of intensity at which they compete their best. If you have too much anxiety, you can't focus, and when you have too little, you are too bored to focus.
There are a couple of things that might help. The first is 10-step breathing. This can help you to lower that anxiety to a manageable level. Counting to yourself, take a deep breath. Count 1-2-3 as you inhale, 4-5-6 while you hold that breath in, and 7-8-9-10 as you exhale. You might get a little light-headed at first, so don't be alarmed and make sure you do it while standing still. Take 3, 10-step breaths to ground yourself, or take as many as it takes! You can use this skill to relax in any situation and eventually, all you'll have to do is take a deep breath to trigger relaxation.
The other thing you need to figure out is how much intensity or anxiety is optimal for you. Use practice or training to do this. Have your coach create some pressure situations in training, respond while anxious, and then use your breathing to moderate your anxiety. See which scenario works best and then work to apply that to real competitions.
Remember to have fun,
Dr. Jenny Susser
I'm always afraid to see or hear people who are better than I am, it gives me an incredible amount of pressure. I sometimes feel like I don't even know why I still compete. No matter how hard I try, there's always someone faster than me. Can you help me with my problem, please?
Thank you, Sally
Dear Sally,
You must feel pretty frustrated to be wondering why you still compete...and I think that's a pretty good question to be asking. You probably were good at it when you started and you liked doing it and not necessarily just winning. There will always be someone faster than you (even gold medal winners lose sometimes), but that's not always bad news. It can motivate you on those days you don't quite feel like practicing. I think if you came up with some new goals for your races—goals that compare your performance to YOU and not to anyone else—you just might find some of that joy that led you to sport in the first place. When you set goals, make them specific and realistic, like driving directions. You don't have to be the best or fastest to have fun and feel good about yourself…and isn't that why you like being an athlete?
Remember to have fun,
Dr. Jenny Susser
What do you do when you are totally ready for a race and your shoelaces break?! Even if you have enough time to go and get new ones, it still freaks you out. You are just about to race and you are out of that perfect state of mind. Is there a way to get calm and ready really fast?
Thank you, Lindsay
Dear Lindsay,
Equipment failure can completely throw off your mental game, and sometimes it's hard to get back that perfect state of mind! My advice is to practice racing with your equipment failing so that anything at a competition still creates a perfect state of mind to race fast. Just like you practice starts or relay exchanges, you can practice being prepared for anything so that you are ready to race, no matter what. Ask your coach to help you out with some timed runs in practice and when you get to the starting line, break your shoe lace on purpose and race your best—remember, it's really about how hard you try not how much you win. It may take a couple times to feel comfortable, but the next time it happens at a meet, it won't even phase you and you will be able to get calm and ready fast! Even if it never happens again, just knowing you're prepared for it will make you even tougher mentally. Practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes permanent!
Remember to have fun,
Dr. Jenny Susser
I can keep up with all the fastest swimmers on my team in practice, but I'm nowhere near as fast them at a meet. What's my problem? Is it mental?
Thank you, Rebecca
Dear Rebecca,
Swimming in a race can be very "mental". Sometimes we put pressure on ourselves to swim fast and it messes us up. You can learn to swim the way you do in practice at meets. One way is to "practice with pressure." Just like you practice your turns, you can practice feeling pressure and doing well with it. Let yourself get a little nervous in practice and see that you can swim fast even if you are nervous! Another way to prepare for pressure is to "visualize" yourself at a meet, being excited or nervous about racing, and going fast anyway. Close your eyes and pretend you are watching yourself on TV except you pick the show—the "Rebecca swimming fast at meets" show. Remember, you have to practice mentally as well!
Remember to have fun,
Dr. Jenny Susser
Is there anything I can do to make waking up for morning practices easier? How do I stay motivated for morning practices?
Thank you, Andrea
Dear Andrea,
Morning practices can be tough but there are some things you can do to make them a bit easier. Sports have so many benefits and one of them is being on a team. No matter how early you have to wake up, remember that you will be there with your team and friends. Maybe come up with some ways to make mornings a little more fun, like Monday morning joke day. See how creative you can get and you might just look forward to it. Motivation can also be increased by setting goals. Maybe you are trying to qualify for a big competition, or someday you'd like to compete at a good college or even in the Olympics. When you don't feel like getting out of bed, think about what you need to do today to reach your goal, and how to make practices fun with your friends.
Remember to have fun,
Dr. Jenny Susser
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